What Kind of Man Lets a Woman Buy His Clothes?

Your mum started it.

The care she took in choosing those super-cute togs when you were a kid made you a satisfying and living projection of her own style. You looked good, she looked good it was win-win on the wardrobe front there for a while – all good in the tiger eared chenille hood. And so it began.

As teens we took up the reins for a good decade but it was only a matter of time before a significant other stepped in to pick up the slack on shirts, socks, underwear and the odd item of clothing that filled you with fear, example a hat. Or if you were anything like David Beckham in the 90s, you simply submitted to pure unadulterated ‘dress me up’ freefall.

For many, clothes shopping is a chore. According to research 1 in 4 men bale on their partners while shopping, the most popular reasons given are being “hungry”, “thirsty” and “wishing they were outside”.

This could explain why over 45% of men have staples bought for them by their partners despite the boom in men’s online fashion sales – it could also explain why underwear multi-packs exist, which despite having a note of Bob The Builder fandom about them, get the job done x3.

So where do you draw the line and how long is too long after the event to mention that you do not like and have in fact never liked patterned shirts?

Whether it’s convenience, power play, mothering or projection above all it’s a kindness and knowing the correct size to buy is truly intimate. You can bet before those stripy socks were popped on the counter the buyer considered ‘he loves a stripy sock, he’ll go mad for these’ or ‘It might be 30 degrees out but he looks really sexy in a roll neck jumper’. Valid. Kind.

A few notes on having staples bought for you.

If you’re too easy to buy for, it could be you’re in a style rut, fine if it’s working, but don’t be kept there by someone else’s taste.
The regular choice of pants can go unchanged for years if you’re not careful – are you sure there isn’t something more comfortable and flattering out there?
Be open to trying something new, style is fun.
Be grateful yes, but above all honest. If you’ve moved on from the clothes which are coming your way, say so.
Repay the kindness.

Be warned, the personal semi-reliable service of having your staples chosen, bought and delivered to your bedside can sometimes switch off like a tap. A common time for this to happen is when men enter fatherhood and find themselves playing second fiddle to a new generation of super cute tiger eared chenille hood buying fashion projections. Some wither into Superdry at this point. But others flourish like newly freed flamingoes. They’re the ones to watch.

Men getting into their 40s, 50s and beyond often find new interest in fashion and get back into buying their own gear as they did as teenagers. And this time they’re unafraid of formal tailoring or colour and have the cash to do things properly. Watch out for them. They look awesome.

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Some older men have the outright panache to combine formal tailoring AND colour and not just the ones in Buena Vista Social Club. When dressed with style and individuality, the confidence and swagger of men who dress well into their later years carries a gravitas young folk can only dream of, often accompanied with a sense of ‘You chase youth if you wish my friends, I’m all good thanks”.

Of course like women, newly liberated fashion buying men looking for inspiration in the fashion press have to get accustomed to navigating their gaze past the cold eyes of the 20 something models, as there is a near complete absence of anyone over 40 years old on the pages. I guess for genuine non-homogenised style inspiration you have to go to Cuba or possibly Margate.

Recommended sources of style inspiration.